The World Through the Eyes of a Beautiful Woman

1. Buses, cars, & trains wait for me
2. Strangers smile
3. People stop and help
4. No one gives weight to my opinions, ideas, or suggestions
5. I'm not expected to understand
6. People ask if I'm attached
7. Any money I earn is my money
8. I have a boyfriend queue, in case the one I have doesn't work out
9. I have stalkers, some of which are in my queue
10. Some women scowl at me, and backstab me, for no discernible reason
11. The men I'm interested in are often frustratingly indifferent, or famous, or fictional
12. Many who I don't want to give it to are amazingly single-minded on the subject
13. If complimented on that pair of painful shoes, I will continue to wear them

The World Through the Eyes of a Tall, Ordinary Guy

1. Buses, cars, & trains try to run me over
2. Strangers ignore me or ask for money
3. Nobody offers to help
4. People assume I know what I'm talking about
5. I'm expected to be well-versed in sports, politics, economics, electronics, & cars
6. People ask what I do
7. My earnings are communal
8. I have a girlfriend wish list, which is most of the women I know
9. Secret admirers don't exist
10. Some women enjoy teasing me for no discernible reason
11. The women I'm interested in are tantalizingly sexy but apparently sexless
12. Women are always dating or married, they are never single
13. If complimented that I look nice in that shirt, I will wear it forever

Fan clubs. They are like extended costume parties. With politics.


And there is always the rabid fan. Scary.